This is so very wrong on soooo many levels I'm going to do it . . . twice

Just not today.

Today is reserved for making fun of it.

I could do what my best buddy does (he shall remain nameless because I still don't know his real name), Homemaker Man, and write a post doing it and making fun of it at the same time. I just don't think Shutterfly would be overly thrilled if I took that route.

What is it?

It's a giveaway.

Or two.

I still haven't decided if I have the gumption to write 2 posts about freakin' holiday cards in order to give you guys some free cards. I have to have the silly posts written and posted by the 30th.

Who the hell plans for the holidays that far in advance? Don't look at me because it's certainly no one in my world. Although I think one of my brothers did marry a woman who is always in holiday prep mode. I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking with the head on his shoulders when he made that decision.

My family and friends live by a simple code:

"Anything worth doing will be there tomorrow. If it's not, SCORE!"

This explains why it's taken me awhile to get around to thanking those of you who've so generously made a donation to my husband's fundraising efforts. If you'd like to toss a buck or two into the bucket, please visit Rick's Fundraising Page. I wrote a little something about what he's doing and why on my previous post. You can also hit that awesome button in the top left corner of the sidebar and be magically transported to his page.

Holy shiitake! Free-writing is beginning to excite me. Maybe I'll just write crap like this from now on because guess what? I'm so damn energized, I'm going to do a giveaway right this very minute!

And it's not for silly it's-way-too-early holiday cards. (Rest assured, I will get those posts written & those giveaways up by the 30th if I have to lose sleep over them because that's how much I love you guys.)

Have you heard the exciting news about a newly published book by Anna Lefler? If not, I'm here to tell you it's orgasmic. Just watch this brief trailer she and some of her friends put together.

See? Awesome, right?

In The CHICKtionary, Anna explains and defines the "complex and nuanced lexicon" of women, "one that is effortlessly understood by all females [not me] and which conveys—through context, subtext and, occasionally, pretext—the ever-changing and largely annoying experience of being a contemporary earth woman."

Folks who know me well will tell you I am not an earth woman. I am earthy. I am a woman. I am from another planet when it comes to understanding womens. It's just one of the many crosses I bear. Thankfully, Anna wrote this book. There is now hope that I'll be able to converse with these earth womens of whom she speaks. For the love of Pete (he's another brother), I've felt out of the loop long enough. It's time to claim my rightful place in the land of womens. Mens I do fine with; womens, not so much.

I'm a social networking flounda (that's New England for 'not too bright') so instead of using Twitter where all the cool kids hang out, I spend time on Facebook. I've been touting Anna's book since well before it was published. When Anna asked me if I'd like some CHICKtionary swag, I said hells yeah. It just arrived. It's a box full of awesome stuff that I'm keeping. Except for the coffee mug. It's fabulous but I don't drink anything that goes into a mug.

As much fun as I have with photography, I suck at taking photos of indoor things, especially dishes. I think that's a skill set I may never have. (Two Points!) I could describe it in detail, but then you wouldn't be surprised. Trust me, it's awesome. You want this mug; you need this mug. Especially if you're a woman—earth or not.

In addition to the mug, I'm giving away a copy of Anna's book. It's Two-Fer Tuesday on the deck. I know, I know. I'm swell.

This here's the book which I didn't have to photograph either. Look at all that PINK!

The Random Orgasmatron will pick a winner on Friday, October 28th. Please be sure your email address is linked to your comment so I can promptly (yeah right) notify the winner.

If you've never read Anna's blog, you're missing some fine humor writing. Anna can be found on other sites but her home page is Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder.

If you don't win, you can get the book (sorry, the mug is not in stores) at any of these fine booking establishments: BARNES & NOBLE, Books-A-Million, IndieBound, and my favorite (because I have loads of spendable points), Amazon.

Alternate post title: Five Minutes Inside A Non-Earth Woman's Head.

Good luck out there.

Since I'm rambling this morning, I want to shout out a couple of folks who've gifted me with blogging awards.

Pastor Sharon, a woman of dignity and grace, from Dances With God shot this baby to me quite a while ago.

The talented Nancy from A Rural Journal tossed this one my way recently.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you both. I appreciate your generosity more than I can express.



By the way, if you're wondering what you have to do to get this slice of heaven, just leave a comment on this post telling me how easy or difficult it is for you to communicate with women.

The fine print: Anna sent that mug to me as a gift. I'm regifting it because it deserves to be used often and lovingly. As well, Anna didn't give me the book. I bought it myself. Finally, Anna doesn't have a clue I'm doing this. I received absolutely nothing for writing this post except a warm feeling of silliness that spread all over my body.